Happiness and Rebirth


Our son was born and so was I – re-born.

I was a mother. I was living with my partner. I moved to another town in a place we renovated ourselves. I was spending every minute with my newborn baby.

I was no longer me…

The first months were tough. Our son suffered some discomforts – namely a bad reflux. For the first few weeks he slept on me all the time. Actually, the only way he was able to fall asleep while still in the hospital was lying on my chest.

Demanding but rewarding. These days there is a lot of talking about “attachment parenting”, meaning spending your time bonding with your little one. For example nursing them exclusively, sharing a bed while sleeping, carrying them in your hands or a sling, plus lots of cuddling.  I’m glad I had to spend all these hours walking with him, rocking him, nursing him, holding him, feeling his tiny body against mine. There isn’t a better start in life for a baby than being nourished in any possible way by his parents.

Until the time this little person decides he is ready to meet the world. Then he gains a bit by bit of independence till the time he’s ready to leave home and start on his own journey.

For good or for bad – somewhat uncomfortable for us mothers. There were days when I couldn’t move from the couch for hours not wanting to wake my son up. Or sometimes just because I didn’t want to put him down and preferred to cuddle him.  Often I couldn’t reach my glass of water or my book when he was nursing.

Then later his tummy would get upset and I’ll have to walk him on my shoulder till he dozes off again. Just till he wakes up again and is ready to munch again. So minutes and hours, and days and nights of creating this strong bond which I hope would not get corrupted.

I don’t know what the future will bring us but I hope that this relationship will only evolve. Often I think l probably know this little person much better than myself. Every corner of his personality…

This is how this post ends. It was never completed when started in October 2013 – exactly 2 years ago. I am back to my blog after all this time and I have a whole lot to write about. I wanted to publish this post first, though. And I am greatly surprised by the title I chose for it – “Happiness and Rebirth”, and I will explain why in the following series of posts.

Stay close for some more soul explorations!

Posted by

I'm Vilina Christoph and I share my journey of healing and transformation. My awakening was triggered by the death of my mother and sister of cancer. When the feelings became too much to handle, I started documenting my experiences of dealing with depression and anxiety, coping with the loss and grief, and the general lack of motivation and joy in life.  Since the beginning of this journey of transformation I've learned compassion, acceptance and love for myself and others. My mission is to encourage others to look into their pain and take on the path of self-love. By accepting who you are with all your imperfections, by loving yourself fully with all your wounds, you find the strength to be your most authentic self and you unlock your unique gifts in the world.

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