Finding peace in the midst of a crisis

I am officially back to my blog after 2 years of silence. God works in mysterious ways!

I went through all my previous posts and also published the last one which was left unfinished. I decided I want to share it all out even though it might not be perfectly written or even completed. It is part of me and this space here is a safe place for all of us to share weaknesses and strengths at the same time.

It is somewhat hard to make the transition from 2 years ago to now, it feels like there should be a link, a passage, a connection of some sort to lead us from then to now. I will go back in time just for the sake of keeping a perspective of things.

The last post was called “Happiness and Rebirth” – a very powerful and very intuitive title. It was about the birth of my son Sylvian who is 2 years and a-bit-more-than-6-months old. His coming to this world marked a very fresh and new beginning for me. A re-birth. Let me explain why the title is so strong for me, reading it from the perspective of now.

I became interested in astrology and my partner happened to have quite a few books on the subject. So I immersed myself. Astrology is divine and very practical at the same time. It certainly makes you want to go deeper and deeper. I do find it hard to get the whole picture and it does take a lot to deepen your understanding. But in a way it is not about finding a solution because it is a process and some things which you do not relate to now could become very obvious in some time to come. The idea is to keep reading and after you’ve exhausted the subject give yourself a break, then come back to it again and look at it with “fresh eyes”. Or you risk getting frustrated and feeling down because of it. It is like taking a spoonful and then taking the time to digest it.

A very strong aspect in my chart is the so called North Node/South Node axis. Go ahead and google it, it is worthwhile investigating if you’re into such things. In my case a strong theme is the one of regeneration and rebirth. This type of people are compared to the phoenix who dies and is again born out of the ashes. In most of the cases you need a damn extreme crisis to bring this forward. Everything old and outgrown needs to die in order for the new to come. Everything that no longer serves you needs to parish. So a new you could emerge out of the storm.

I cannot express strongly enough how true and painful that is. I only realised it recently but going back to my old posts I am not surprised to notice this theme pop out, at the time being on a subconscious level. I was going through a crisis back then before I moved house and town, and my son was born. I had to go through a violent health crisis as well – physical and mental. It so seems that I “create” or evoke these situations in my life in order to shed my old self and be reborn into a new me. It sounds very extreme and it does feel like you are thrown in the eye of the storm. But that is my way, obviously. Also it says that this type of people do possess the physical and emotional strength to endure those storms. It seems this is how it works and we are perfectly capable to come out more alive than ever before. That’s not to say it doesn’t hurt or it doesn’t feel like the end of your world. It is actually the end of the world that needs to die. And it does take an enormous effort to come back out of it whole, and also it takes time. A lot of time.

Next time I will tell you all about my very recent crisis. And perhaps then I can try to unearth a bit of happiness from all those ashes.