Showing up for ourselves: an experience of a photoshoot session

showupphotoession
Image Ethan Robertson

I have been quiet for the past few weeks. So much has happened that it’s somewhat hard to even start – where do I start from?

Part of the reasons why I haven’t written, is that I’ve been feeling a lot of internal integration of everything I’ve been through lately. Meaning, while up until now I’ve been doing a lot of mental untangling helped by my writing, for the last 3 weeks I’ve been feeling as all this has been integrating in my body and physical life.

Literally, I am feeling the embodying of the shifts happening within me.

I didn’t feel like I want to write about something so I can figure it out. I didn’t want to write about something that I have figured out.

It is about feeling everything that I’ve figured out being incorporated into my being. Being the shifts, living the changes, the old ways being removed by the new.

And it also feels like completion – coming the full cycle. And here are some facts that also illustrate and complement this:

  • In less than two weeks I’ll be going to my home country Bulgaria with my son to spend the rest of the summer there (until September).
  • I finished my psychotherapy and today (Wednesday) was our last session (for now at least).
  • I finished a 6-session course of Touch Therapy with my massage therapist
  • On July 2nd it will be 8 years completed since I came over to Ireland – 8 years is usually a full cycle in our lives.
  • We got an offer for our house to a few days ago, meaning we will definitely be moving in September after we come back from Bulgaria.

That’s a lot of endings and I definitely feel like I’ve climbed a big mountain – I’m on top of it now, I’ve shed the weight of the past and I’m looking ahead of me eager about what’s to come next.

I’m grateful, I’m happy, and I’m celebrating my progress and my achievements. For myself, and only for myself, I know how much I’ve done, how much I’ve achieved and how far I’ve come. And nothing can spoil this feeling for me.

I’m fully basking in my own joy.

And yes, this is new. And yes, it feels glorious.

And yes, this IS our natural state, every human being’s natural state – joy.

It was never intended to be other than joy. But we’ve forgotten and now we need to remember and re-awaken this power that lies dormant within us – the power to create our reality.

A new chapter of my life is starting. A life during which I celebrate myself, my existence, every day. And to celebrate the new beginnings, a wonderful thing manifested for me.

I will cut the long story short, but my internal voice and feeling led me to connect with a few beautiful women whose mission is to photograph beautiful powerful rising women.

Yesterday morning (Tuesday) I had my photos taken by professional photographers for a very first time in my life!

The whole week before that I was nervous and scared but I knew I had to do it on the very first sight of their wonderful work. I had to make contact and connect and make it happen. And bam! – these beautiful women photographers were coming to Ireland. And as they said, they were literally boarding from California within the next three hours. Pure magic in its workings! And not only the time and location synchronicity – they were also able to accommodate my request even though I wasn’t able to afford the full cost of a photo shoot. Eternal gratitude!

And because I knew with my heart this was the absolute right thing to do, my phobia of being taken photos of stepped back. It didn’t overwhelm me and further more – I was able to enjoy the experience fully. They were true professionals and made me feel guided, supported, honoured and celebrated! I almost felt that I can be this someone that I want to be. I allowed myself to soak up the magic and be my fullest without self-consciousness, doubt, fear and criticism.

And that is truly massive for me!

A giant step forward for me and all women!

Be encouraged always ❤

You may also like Reclaiming a lost self: an experience in my home country

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I'm Vilina Christoph and I write about my journey of healing and empowerment. A family tragedy triggered my suffering from depression and anxiety+panic attacks. I was consumed by loss and grief, my sense of self was shattered. For the last three years I've been slowly piecing a new "me". I've been tracing my steps backwards, unlearning toxic behaviours and releasing outdated beliefs. It's been a journey of stripping down layers and coming back to my core, my heart, my soul. This is my life story of awakening, remembering my truth and becoming whole again. May it inspires you on your path!

6 thoughts on “Showing up for ourselves: an experience of a photoshoot session

  1. Be kind, and generous to yourself. I am only starting to learn not to deny myself whimsical gifts, even practical ones. As your journey continues please continue to share because it helps me also to be more open.

    Like

    1. Thank you Dave! I’m glad you’re giving yourself what your soul desires. By accepting, not denying, our wishes we open ourselves for much bigger gifts. I’m so glad you’re inspired and motivated by my journey, I’ll most definitely keep sharing it!

      Liked by 1 person

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