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Showing up for ourselves: an experience of a photo session
I have been quiet for the past few weeks. So much has happened that it’s somewhat hard to even start – where do I start from? Part of the reasons why I haven’t written, is that I’ve been feeling a lot of internal integration of everything I’ve been through lately. Meaning, while up until now I’ve been doing a lot of mental untangling helped by my writing, for the last 3 weeks I’ve been feeling as all this has been integrating in my body and physical life. Literally, I am feeling the embodying of the shifts happening within me. I didn’t feel like I want to write about something so I…
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Breaking free of our mental prisons
I mentioned in my last post that I’ve kept myself into a sort of a mental prison. After talking to my therapist about it and going for a walk after, it came to me – another piece of the puzzle. After the dreams about my past lives, I had another few empowering dreams – one symbolising letting go of the burden I’ve been carrying by throwing things out of a backpack I’ve been carrying, and another – expressing myself freely by singing to a song I don’t remember the words of but nevertheless singing loudly and freely. To me, those dreams symbolise my emotional release of the trauma I’ve been lugging around…
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Past life explorations
Last time I put my story under a different light and illuminated it within a new perspective. I looked into my life from the angle of radical (self) forgiveness. In short, radical forgiveness is about the idea that whatever happened to us (seeing ourselves as victim) or whatever we did to someone else (seeing ourselves as perpetrator), nothing wrong ever occurred. The people participating in the event on both sides have agreed on spiritual level to experience it so their souls can evolve. It’s all perfect and as it should be. Thus, skipping the traditional meaning of forgiveness, we address our concerns to our spiritual self and forgive whomever hurt us or ourselves…
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Rewriting my story in a radical self-forgiveness context
“I am here to deal with my fear of isolation, loneliness and loss. I have chosen my parents, sibling, partner, child, close friends, and my life circumstances so they can support my soul’s evolution. My mother temporarily left me for 5 years when I was 10 years old. Then she permanently left my life when I was 26. By doing so, she first opened a hole in me as a young child, and then she made that hole graver, bigger and deeper by leaving this world altogether. When my mum first left she prepared me for encountering a greater feeling of loneliness and loss later in my life. When she…
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On grief: the missing relationship with the mother
If you ask me how my life has been the last couple of years, I probably wouldn’t say it has been full of grief. It would be one of the first things to cross my mind but I wouldn’t say it. I would probably divert to being a mom and looking after a household, which is true but it’s only half of my world. The grief and everything it brings – I’ve put aside in the back pocket of my mind. It wasn’t until I started listening to the audiobook Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed, that I felt how much grief I still carry in me.…
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Learning to trust: connecting to our inner wisdom
In February I wrote about the small steps that me and my family are taking, and the changes coming from that. Now, a few months later, things are still moving forward and there’s much progress. In this post I’d like to revisit and recap all that started at the beginning of this year. Perhaps the most significant area in our lives as a family was our housing situation. The house we live in and are taking care of is about to be announced for sale. When my partner’s grant aunt died earlier in January we knew our boat is to be rocked. But we’ve already started on the process of getting…
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Letting go of guilt
In this post I’d like to discuss the feeling of guilt – in particular the guilt inherited from our parents and the way we carry this within us through life. I believe guilt can play out in our lives in two ways: the guilt our parents felt towards us when we were young (and perhaps still feel) and how that affected us in becoming whole beings the guilt we carry over for our parents and we as parents feel towards our children. And I believe this guilt is carried through the generations. Perhaps this is a new concept for you but bear with me. If you find yourself feeling guilty in situations…
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Being the gods that we are
A lot has happened the last couple of weeks. Perhaps the most important announcement to make is that I started visiting a psychotherapist, for the first time in my life! This week was our forth meeting and I’m liking it! I believe my therapist enjoys our conversations too. I feel good about it and the most significant thing is that I’m getting support that I’ve never experienced in my life before! And by that I mean – listening, understanding, validating, encouraging, supporting, non-judgmentally. Besides being able to share my thoughts and worries in a safe place, for the first time I actually feel heard and acknowledged for simply being who I am and…
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Reclaiming our wholeness
Last time I touched upon the subject of childhood and the beliefs we form as little children. Beliefs that are very often unaligned with our truth and distorted by the immature minds we possess at very early age. In this post I’ll strive to explain better what that means and how it happens. I draw my conclusions solely from my own experience and the realisations I’ve made during my journey of better understanding myself. My hope is that you will be able to find your own truth in what I have to say! I’m sure some of you are familiar with the concept of inner child work and healing the wounded child within…
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Becoming our true selves
I had a revelation – I had put my life on pause. About 3 years ago I unconsciously put my own life on hold. What happened at that time is that I moved in with my partner and we had a baby. Life drastically changed as I moved out of my flat in Dublin city and moved in a quieter area nearby; I said goodbye to single life living with my best friend and embraced sharing a relationship and a 3 bedroom house with my boyfriend. I also lost my job and not long after that we got pregnant. It was a life overhaul. I switched identities over a few months. Consciously…
