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September astrology vibes and dives
Once the month of September arrives I’m all into diving deep in astrology. Last year around that time started my astro-journey. I opened the first of many books that I read in the consequent months. My curiosity and amazement of this subject has deepened every day since then. These days I’m reading about my six-year long perspectives and also one year planetary transits. And I’m fascinated. But not only with the accuracy of these reports. The modern astrology doesn’t just give us facts and dates of things that will happen. No, this isn’t really the meaning of astrology. Today astrologers look into the overall themes in our lives based on…
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Reclaiming a lost self: an experience in my home country
Hey Everybody! I’m back from my two-month trip and stay in Bulgaria, hurrah! The situation with the internet certainly could’ve been better but at the same time being “off” had it’s positives, too. I enjoyed being more present, more active, more outside and basically super busy running after my son around in the garden and back yard. One minute was playing in the mud, the next playing with the water pump, and occasionally kittens were being thrown in the bin, oops… Our stay over was full of experiences, meet-ups with relatives and friends, and in general re-connection with the roots. I realised how much I’ve missed my friends and the deep connection…
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Showing up for ourselves: an experience of a photo session
I have been quiet for the past few weeks. So much has happened that it’s somewhat hard to even start – where do I start from? Part of the reasons why I haven’t written, is that I’ve been feeling a lot of internal integration of everything I’ve been through lately. Meaning, while up until now I’ve been doing a lot of mental untangling helped by my writing, for the last 3 weeks I’ve been feeling as all this has been integrating in my body and physical life. Literally, I am feeling the embodying of the shifts happening within me. I didn’t feel like I want to write about something so I…
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Breaking free of our mental prisons
I mentioned in my last post that I’ve kept myself into a sort of a mental prison. After talking to my therapist about it and going for a walk after, it came to me – another piece of the puzzle. After the dreams about my past lives, I had another few empowering dreams – one symbolising letting go of the burden I’ve been carrying by throwing things out of a backpack I’ve been carrying, and another – expressing myself freely by singing to a song I don’t remember the words of but nevertheless singing loudly and freely. To me, those dreams symbolise my emotional release of the trauma I’ve been lugging around…
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Past life explorations
Last time I put my story under a different light and illuminated it within a new perspective. I looked into my life from the angle of radical (self) forgiveness. In short, radical forgiveness is about the idea that whatever happened to us (seeing ourselves as victim) or whatever we did to someone else (seeing ourselves as perpetrator), nothing wrong ever occurred. The people participating in the event on both sides have agreed on spiritual level to experience it so their souls can evolve. It’s all perfect and as it should be. Thus, skipping the traditional meaning of forgiveness, we address our concerns to our spiritual self and forgive whomever hurt us or ourselves…
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Rewriting my story in a radical self-forgiveness context
“I am here to deal with my fear of isolation, loneliness and loss. I have chosen my parents, sibling, partner, child, close friends, and my life circumstances so they can support my soul’s evolution. My mother temporarily left me for 5 years when I was 10 years old. Then she permanently left my life when I was 26. By doing so, she first opened a hole in me as a young child, and then she made that hole graver, bigger and deeper by leaving this world altogether. When my mum first left she prepared me for encountering a greater feeling of loneliness and loss later in my life. When she…
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On grief: the missing relationship with the mother
If you ask me how my life has been the last couple of years, I probably wouldn’t say it has been full of grief. It would be one of the first things to cross my mind but I wouldn’t say it. I would probably divert to being a mom and looking after a household, which is true but it’s only half of my world. The grief and everything it brings – I’ve put aside in the back pocket of my mind. It wasn’t until I started listening to the audiobook Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed, that I felt how much grief I still carry in me.…
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Learning to trust: connecting to our inner wisdom
In February I wrote about the small steps that me and my family are taking, and the changes coming from that. Now, a few months later, things are still moving forward and there’s much progress. In this post I’d like to revisit and recap all that started at the beginning of this year. Perhaps the most significant area in our lives as a family was our housing situation. The house we live in and are taking care of is about to be announced for sale. When my partner’s grant aunt died earlier in January we knew our boat is to be rocked. But we’ve already started on the process of getting…
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Letting go of guilt
In this post I’d like to discuss the feeling of guilt – in particular the guilt inherited from our parents and the way we carry this within us through life. I believe guilt can play out in our lives in two ways: the guilt our parents felt towards us when we were young (and perhaps still feel) and how that affected us in becoming whole beings the guilt we carry over for our parents and we as parents feel towards our children. And I believe this guilt is carried through the generations. Perhaps this is a new concept for you but bear with me. If you find yourself feeling guilty in situations…
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Being the gods that we are
A lot has happened the last couple of weeks. Perhaps the most important announcement to make is that I started visiting a psychotherapist, for the first time in my life! This week was our forth meeting and I’m liking it! I believe my therapist enjoys our conversations too. I feel good about it and the most significant thing is that I’m getting support that I’ve never experienced in my life before! And by that I mean – listening, understanding, validating, encouraging, supporting, non-judgmentally. Besides being able to share my thoughts and worries in a safe place, for the first time I actually feel heard and acknowledged for simply being who I am and…
