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The shame around being a “bad mother”
Sometimes I resent being a mother. That is not to say that I don’t love my child. Unlike my mother and some mothers who can’t love, I do love my son. With all my heart and soul, always and forever. I believe all mothers have moments when they resent motherhood. I believe that the contemporary expectation to be a non-stop happy and vibrant mother is not only unrealistic, it’s also severely shaming and stigmatising. It makes natural temporary feelings of dissatisfaction or unfulfillment fester into gnawing guilt. That makes me think how terribly unprepared and largely delusional so many mothers enter into motherhood, including me. I wanted my child with…
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Showing up for ourselves: an experience of a photo session
I have been quiet for the past few weeks. So much has happened that it’s somewhat hard to even start – where do I start from? Part of the reasons why I haven’t written, is that I’ve been feeling a lot of internal integration of everything I’ve been through lately. Meaning, while up until now I’ve been doing a lot of mental untangling helped by my writing, for the last 3 weeks I’ve been feeling as all this has been integrating in my body and physical life. Literally, I am feeling the embodying of the shifts happening within me. I didn’t feel like I want to write about something so I…
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Past life explorations
Last time I put my story under a different light and illuminated it within a new perspective. I looked into my life from the angle of radical (self) forgiveness. In short, radical forgiveness is about the idea that whatever happened to us (seeing ourselves as victim) or whatever we did to someone else (seeing ourselves as perpetrator), nothing wrong ever occurred. The people participating in the event on both sides have agreed on spiritual level to experience it so their souls can evolve. It’s all perfect and as it should be. Thus, skipping the traditional meaning of forgiveness, we address our concerns to our spiritual self and forgive whomever hurt us or ourselves…