Coming full circle

Last time I mentioned I couldn’t wait for my holidays away from the city and all that has been happening for the last few months. Now, it’s been two weeks into August and I’m just starting to feel some sort of relief and relaxation. It was somewhat hectic and messy so far actually.

My son and I are currently staying in my granny’s house where we spent our winter with my partner just after we moved from Ireland to Bulgaria and before we moved to the capital. My father was also here but left today and the house has quietened down a bit, hence being able to write.

My son and I also spent two months of our previous summer here and it was his first proper visit to the country and introduction to my family. So I can’t help but think this is also another full circle coming to an end.

It was last year at this time, when we were visiting, when the idea to move to Bulgaria actually emerged in me. Having reconnected with the land and roots, and moved away from my home in Ireland, I was able to see things with a renewed perspective and make quite a few realisations.

I’d spent 8 years of my life in Ireland, away from family and friends. I had created a family with my Irish partner and had made connections with his family and that is the biggest achievement I could wish for.

But the price I had to pay was also big and I’d started to feel bitter and heavy. On another level, I didn’t have a job, didn’t have any savings after all the years working, we were losing the place where we had lived and where our son spent his first years, I hadn’t made any close friends, and as you can see things were not looking too optimistic.

I had started to feel unhappy, empty, resentful even.

And when I came back home to Bulgaria to spent the summer with my son, I started to see things clearer. I could see there was no future for me in Ireland and that I have done my time there, at least for now.

I didn’t make any plans of coming back permanently but we discussed the option with my partner. He wasn’t opposed to the idea but he wasn’t too inspired either. After all, leaving home isn’t an easy or a happy choice, andΒ for him it was even more difficult because he had never left his hometown for more than a couple of months.

But by the end of October last year the decision to move our household to Bulgaria had solidified and we left Ireland with our car and a few suitcases.

Being here in my granny’s is bringing everything back to me in my mind. I remember the difficult moments I had with my son here, being on our own for first time. But I also remember the good moments, the fun and games and laughter.

And, oh my, in the meantime so much has happened already!

But I feel something has shifted just about now. And also I can see resolution to some worries and dilemmas I’ve had since this time last summer.

I can’t miss to mention that we are in a very potent and powerful period right now astrologically as well. We’re in between two eclipses this month, plus plenty of planets some going retrograde and others turning direct. I’ve also noticed that August is always somewhat difficult month for me since it represents time of closures as being a Virgo and August being the last month and cycle before my birthday.

I can’t help but feel the intensity of all these celestial events.

However, I do feel a sense of resolution, clarity, understanding and last but not least – motivation and determination for this next cycle and my upcoming steps on physical and emotional level.

And not to forget, I still have two weeks of holidays and the best is just to begin.

So for now, I’ll close this last page and will hold the next one closed till my time of rebirth in September, and will just enjoy the present moment.

With love, Vlina x

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I'm Vilina Christoph and I share my journey of healing and transformation. My awakening was triggered by the death of my mother and sister of cancer. When the feelings became too much to handle, I started documenting my experiences of dealing with depression and anxiety, coping with the loss and grief, and the general lack of motivation and joy in life.Β  Since the beginning of this journey of transformation I've learned compassion, acceptance and love for myself and others. My mission is to encourage others to look into their pain and take on the path of self-love. By accepting who you are with all your imperfections, by loving yourself fully with all your wounds, you find the strength to be your most authentic self and you unlock your unique gifts in the world.

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